Are you confused and anxious when it comes to poetry? Do you find yourself lying to family and friends, saying you totally got a poem that in reality you most certainly did not get? Does the idea of going to a poetry reading make you sweat effusively? You may be suffering from dispoetic disorder, a condition I just made up that afflicts hundreds of millions of people across the nation.
Fortunately, there is hope: Albert Goldbarth™, a unique and multiple-award-winning treatment from the University of Wichita, Kansas.
Albert Goldbarth provides fast acting relief from incomprehension, self-doubt, and paranoia. Unlike most contemporary poetry, Albert Goldbarth’s poems do not feature dangerous “self-conscious spareness” or harmful “elevated diction.” Goldbarth’s poems are “wacky,” “talky,” “effusive,” “sprawling,” “gregarious,” and, more than anything, “omnivorous.”
People listening to Albert Goldbarth may be surprised, dazzled, and experience “perfect zen-ness.”
Readers should be aware that Albert Goldbarth is associated with genre-bending,hitching fleas to cosmos-traversing chariots, and transcending mundane reality. Consult your doctor if you find yourself curling inward and then being punctured with genuine, unmasked emotion.
Albert Goldbarth should be taken with a treatment of Christopher Howell and Nance Van Winckel.
A Night of Poetry featuring Christopher Howell, Nance Van Winckel, and Albert Goldbarth
Thursday, April 20 at 7pm
$10/free with student ID
Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln St.
