“Ask, Don’t Tell”

Student Contributor: E. Adkisson
The “Ask, Don’t Tell” approach is helpful to students because they are constantly being told what to do. Students are also often told how they are feeling or how to fix it. This method causes the teacher to ask the students questions about how they are feeling rather than relying on their body language.

This tool should be used in settings where students are feeling overwhelmed, sad, angry or any high emotions. Teachers are looking at their student’s body language and can often tell how students might be feeling but using this method allows the students to take time to express their emotions and try to problem solve on their own. A community member may ask questions like, “Could you tell me how you feel?” “I imagine that you might feel like ___. Is that right?” “How can I helo you solve this problem?”. By asking these types of questions students will have more understanding of what they need to do when they are experiencing these emotions.

I placed this tool in the supportive phase because it will help students organize their thought after something happens in the classroom or school.” Ask, Don’t Tell” connects to the supportive phase because staff members are supporting students in their emotions and helps the teacher gain a better understanding of the student. By using this tool on a daily basis you are showing the students that you truly care about them and are there to help. This tool could connect to preventative because after the students learn how to organize their emotions and start to problem solve, the students will be able to ask themselves these questions without a staff member.

More Information –
Tool Source: Karyn Gordon