Healthy relationships are important in all parts of our lives. These can be romantic partners, friendships, family members, or professional relationships. It is important that you feel comfortable during interactions and are able to establish healthy boundaries.
Self Check-Up
Ask yourself these questions about your relationships. It is important to take a a couple minutes from time to time and ensure that the people around you are contributing positively to your well being. Download the Activity Sheet.
- Do I like being around this person? Does this person like being around me?
- Do I feel happy when I am with my partner or friend?
- Do I want to be in the type of relationship that I am in?
- Do we treat each other as equals and make decisions together?
- Do we openly communicate about our wants, needs, and boundaries?
- How do we discuss disagreements? Are we respectful of how each other feel?
- Are we aware of each others boundaries?
- If any boundaries have been crossed in the past have we discussed the incident(s)?
- Are we both comfortable with the pace of our relationship? Are we moving too fast or too slow?
- Do I feel free to engage and focus on areas of my life that are separate from my relationship?
- Do we know each others love languages? Take the quiz here!
- Do we encourage each other to engage in self-care and to love ourselves?
- When conflict arises do we take the time to resolve it?
- Do we feel free to grow and change as an individuals?
- Do I trust my friend/partner?
- Do I feel safe in this relationship?
- Do I feel respected in this relationship?
- Do I have my own identity separate from this relationship?
*materials adapted with permission from CHECK IT Sexual Violence Bystander Intervention program at Humboldt State University
Key Ingredients For A Healthy Relationship
- Boundaries – Set boundaries and make sure they are fully understood and respected. It is ok to take things slow.
- Communication – Take time to ensure that feelings, needs, and desires are understood.
- Compassion – Take the time and energy to show them you care.
- Consent – Do not assume something is ok, get clear consent before engaging in any form of intimacy.
- Collaboration – Make decisions together, not for each other.
- Equality – Both partners should feel they are equal partners in the relationship
- Honesty – Be honest and upfront with your partner.
- Independence – Both partners need to feel they have an identity and sense of self, independent of their relationship.
*materials adapted with permission from CHECK IT Sexual Violence Bystander Intervention program at Humboldt State University
Relationship Red Flags
- Blackmail – Threatening to do or not do something as a means of manipulation. Such as hurting, hurting themselves, breaking things, sharing information or images.
- Micromanagement – Insisting that you get their permission for everything you do. Preventing you from interacting with friends and family.
- Violence – Puts their hands on you in a hurtful or intimidating manner.
- Humiliation – Yells, screams, or puts you down in public or private.
- Pressure – Pressures you to do something that you are uncomfortable with or do not wish to engage in.
- Emotional Abuse – Makes you feel worthless, tells you no one else will love you, makes you believe everything is your fault.
*materials adapted with permission from CHECK IT Sexual Violence Bystander Intervention program at Humboldt State University
