{"id":5079,"date":"2024-01-24T18:47:54","date_gmt":"2024-01-25T02:47:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/?p=5079"},"modified":"2024-11-15T08:18:35","modified_gmt":"2024-11-15T16:18:35","slug":"blue-on-blue-by-susan-maeder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/blue-on-blue-by-susan-maeder\/","title":{"rendered":"“Blue on Blue” by Susan Maeder"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"issue681\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Found in Willow Springs 68<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n

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“Blue on Blue” by Susan Maeder<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

There were tables of shining blond wood<\/p>\n\n\n\n

in the restaurant in my neighborhood<\/p>\n\n\n\n

where I took him on a dare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stiff white napkins,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

too many glasses, too many forks<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HIs chair had one short leg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He splayed his fingers wide on<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the white wall beside him. They appeared<\/p>\n\n\n\n

more deep-sea blue than black.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He grinned. “See? That’s you and me.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I laughed. The room hushed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He held his hand there and pressed,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

as if he might leave a mark like a bruise<\/p>\n\n\n\n

when he withdrew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I watched his eyes jump from this to that-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the lacquered card in his other hand,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the silver, the door, my lips,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the recessed corners of the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt the pressure of his knee against mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We never ate. We left that place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We walked through streets of pumpkin orange-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

it was Halloween-fastidious<\/p>\n\n\n\n

red brick; one zigzag of neon<\/p>\n\n\n\n

yellow. Victorian blue on blue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was my house. We went in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the part where it all silks down<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and the candles melt    and the space<\/p>\n\n\n\n

heater groan    the phone rings twice<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the fridge hums    and stops    and<\/p>\n\n\n\n

hums again<\/p>\n\n\n\n

there’s probably music-saxophone<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(grover washington jr-it 1976)    it’s raining<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the neighbor’s dog is barking    it’s raining<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m counting<\/p>\n\n\n\n

one two three    why am I counting? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

my eyes are closed<\/p>\n\n\n\n

there’s no silk    no melting<\/p>\n\n\n\n

there’s one word that cuts like a knife<\/p>\n\n\n\n

four five six<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and this is the part<\/p>\n\n\n\n

where the rain    this is the zigzag<\/p>\n\n\n\n

yellow part    the blue on blue    with the rain<\/p>\n\n\n\n

coming down everywhere all at once<\/p>\n\n\n\n

as if he drummed it down    comes slushing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

through the gutters down   ruining<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the perfect ripe    the sweet round pumpkins<\/p>\n\n\n\n

with their cockeyed grins    when<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the moon suddenly pops out<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and I see everything<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can see everything now<\/p>\n\n\n\n

even the rain itself<\/p>\n\n\n\n

because there’s both the moon and the rain<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the moon lighting up the rain<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and the moon is calling out commands<\/p>\n\n\n\n

it’s about the pills    it’s about<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the    tiny    liquid<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the phone rings twice and twice<\/p>\n\n\n\n

and now he’s pointing at me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-is this how a knife looks?-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

to cut triangle eyes and the jigsaw teeth<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that case I get to shine inside<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get to glow    I really want that light to stream<\/p>\n\n\n\n

from where he carves me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But no-<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s just a pencil    or a pen    or<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a wand    or a stick   and it has nothing to do with me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

it’s part of the Dream Time,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aboriginal Magic, where you pinch<\/p>\n\n\n\n

your own arm and your brother flinches<\/p>\n\n\n\n

or you point the stick and your enemy drops<\/p>\n\n\n\n

to the desert floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he’s an owl<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I care for the feathers, the hard-shell beak,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the elegant clawed feet,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

draw out the long slow whooo<\/em> of surrender<\/p>\n\n\n\n

then<\/p>\n\n\n\n

thunder    then    something like dawn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When he comes scratching<\/p>\n\n\n\n

again and again on my blue door<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m gone<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve leaked out<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m the panther<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the mutant<\/p>\n\n\n\n

the stain on the bedroom floor<\/p>\n\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Found in Willow Springs 68<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Found in Willow Springs 68<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3390,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpo365_audiences":[],"wpo365_private":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5079","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5079"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3390"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5079"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5079\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36896,"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5079\/revisions\/36896"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inside.ewu.edu\/willowspringsmagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}